Lawrence says: “ The real trouble about women is that they must always go on trying to adapt themselves to men’s theories of women.” It shines a light on how impossible it can feel to be a woman, and on how biased and constructed our points of reference against which to measure ourselves have been since we were children. And now, ‘Fear of flying’ has shown me that we – real women – are not the ones that are broken. (newly obsessed with The Take YouTube channel which explores each of these in detail), and I figured that I was the anomaly. I’m ashamed to say that until this age, I hadn’t really gone looking for better and more honest representations of women for myself in literature or film, because I – didn’t really realise they existed? I myself don’t fit any of the tropes of women as they’re presented in modern culture: the Cool Girl, the Femme Fatale, the Dumb Blonde, the Mean Girl, the Weird Girl, the Smart Girl, the Manic Pixie Dream Girl, the Crazy Woman, the Tough Girl, the Nice Girl etc. And as for us GAYS getting screen time? No way. I don’t remember seeing any films or reading any books (besides the escapism offered by vanilla Enid Blyton) with female main characters who were three dimensional – and as for female directors or writers of the content? Pfft.

I myself did the majority of my growing up at a time before the internet (‘91 baby), when women still only existed on screen to serve a plot purpose or to lust after.

What a liability! You grew up with your ears full of cosmetic ads, love songs, advice columns…” Thank Jebus that young women have many more types of content to consume now (giving girls the opportunity to at least have their voices heard without being censored and shaped by Hollywood or the old boys club of critical literature). Until I was twenty-one, I measured my orgasms against Lady Chatterley’s and wondered what was wrong with me.” Erica says it best: “Throughout all of history, books were written with sperm, not menstrual blood. Without the guidance of her mother and no close female friends to share her thoughts with, Isadora’s understanding of womanhood has come only from the content she consumed – literature – all characters which were (either carefully or ignorantly) written by men. And over time it becomes apparent that she is trying to reconcile who she actually is with her idea of women – a notion constructed entirely from the male gaze. Used to a life of deep psychological introspection and analysis (being married to a psychoanalyst), she still can’t define herself, her husband, her lover, her parents or her experience growing up. The quest, in essence, is not for an extra-marital affair, but an understanding of who she is. But anyone who focused on simply the sexual exploits of the protagonist misses the point.

Erica jong books