I was like, “Why couldn't they have picked less attractive actors?” I didn't have a problem with them being gay, or whatever they were, I had a problem with not being able to imagine them with me. While other people were getting themselves worked up and quoting scripture.

Whenever someone asked me if I'd seen the movie, I'd respond with, “Yeah, I've seen the damn movie.” WTF? Why are those two hot, hetero guys up there doing that, instead of down here in this row, asking me if I'd like a drink? What is this? I thought we were having a good time, up on that mountain together. Ain't no other way to describe it, folks. the Heath character violently grabs the Jake character and they start to have a man-on-man fuck fest.

I swear I was worse than a 1940s sailor freshly docked at bay.Īnd just as my eyes were happily feasting on all of that eye candy in Levi's, the weirdest thing happened. Sparkles? Why don't you come on over here with those shiny eyes?” My friend slid deeper into her seat and was like, “Rein it in, sister.”īut then Jake Gyllenhaal appeared on the screen and I had never seen him before and I was like, “What's up, Mr. Before anyone could say “Ledger,” I was making Mmmm, Mmmm yummy sounds and saying things like “Mama like, oh, Mama like.” When Heath Ledger appeared on the giant screen, I got sassy, and my friend got uncomfortable.įor those of you who know me, you know I can get very outspoken about my leading men, and Heath has always made my heart beat faster. My friend got popcorn, and I got comfortable. Sure, I'd go.Īlmost no one was in the theater that morning. Truly, the last movie I saw in a theater was Lincoln, in 2012.īut, one day back in 2005, a good friend called and wondered if I'd like to spend that snowy Sunday in a theater with her, watching something called Brokeback Mountain.īrokeback Mountain? Never heard of it.

Brokeback mountain proulx